It took me quite a while (if you consider 3 months + is a while) to begin to write my first entry to this blog. To be honest, I wrote the title of this entry 3 months ahead but I just couldn't get myself to write anything then...That's because, a new life has begun.
Now our lives revolve around her. I have always wanted to be a mother. When me and my sister and cousin sister were young, we used to have these baby dolls (about 11" long) that we would dress them up, give them milk and sing them a lil song just like we would do to babies. I wonder whether these are woman's instincts or because subconsciously, we remembered how our mothers did that to us. Otherwise, how else would we know how to cradle a baby doll at tender age?! Anyway, my point is, I have always wanted to be a MOTHER.
When it happened. When my ClearBlue turned out "+", I almost cried in the bathroom, nearly but did not. I was immediately worry on what I should do and what I shouldn't do. And naturally, I started to worry too because days before, I bought myself a super combo ice blended pineapple + orange juice! - I was trying to tell myself to chill and to not rush into things as I was eagerly trying to conceive. >.<". Obviously I was just a worry-nut because otherwise, I would not be writing this entry today, wouldn't I.
My new journey began right on the day I knew I was pregnant. Every single step I took I took with my mind on my child. What you eat, what you do, basically everything. I had a terrible head-start during my first trimester where I would threw whatever that I'd eaten and just gagged at the smell and sight of food. Boy, I thought I would never love food again. But thank god it got slightly better as the pregnancy went. At the final phase of my pregnancy, I was so heavy and I could barely walk. Every step was painful to me. Then she was born, my angel sent from God. That day, was the best and worst day of my life (I will get to this part in my later entry, with enough courage I hope).
Baby Hannah, when you were brought to our lives, I swear I was overwhelmed and I summoned whatever emotions I could summoned all at once. Pure joy, fear, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, anger...you name it. Now come to think of it, it was the hormone and baby blue talking back then.
Life has never been the same again. But to be honest, it just got a lot better :).
Next time, I will get going on my daily adventure with Hannah.